Why is everybody in HP so amusing? ^_^ Heh.
Cassandra's 'Something Impossible'
You can thank batling for that one. ^_~
"You destroyed Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak today," Dumbledore said. "A cruel and thoughtless act of vandalism."
"He was using it to spy on me in the bath," Draco said.
"I highly doubt that."
"Well, he might have been,"
"Bah," Draco said. "In case you haven't noticed, Professor, Potter and I have a rivalry going. I am his nemesis. In order to be an effective nemesis, I have to pose something of a threat. I don't see how I can pose a threat to someone I can't even see. I was just trying to level the playing field."
"You are not his nemesis," said Dumbledore, who was getting a bit red about the tips of his ears. "Voldemort is his nemesis."
Draco felt insulted. "Then what am I?"
"You are about to be expelled, my boy," said Dumbledore. "That's what you are."
Draco was horrified. "Expelled! You can't expel me! I'm a Malfoy! We've gone to Hogwarts for generations! If I were expelled, my family would be shamed and dishonored!"
"Because your father's close personal ties to Lord Voldemort don't cause shame and dishonor to your family?" Dumbledore inquired.
"They are very impersonal ties," Draco pointed out haughtily. "A mere exchange of cards at Christmas."
"He could help me paint the Gryffindor Quidditch shed tomorrow," Harry suggested faintly. He seemed a bit short of breath, doubtless as a result of being sat on by Dean.
"Fine," Draco said.
"Shirtless," Ginny added.
"Shirtless?" Draco said. "Why?"
Harry buried his face on his arms. "I am so humiliated," he said in a muffled voice.
"Because," Hermione said hastily. "I'm in love with you, Malfoy."
"I thought you were dating the Weasel," Draco said, with some interest.
"She is," said Ron. "Strangely, however, I don't mind her illicit passion for you."
"He's very understanding," Hermione said.
or...hey, don't bother to read the story...I'll just post it all right here...^___^
It had all been quite satisfyingly normal, Draco thought with a smirk. Just two half-naked boys rolling around a field, smearing paint on each other. Draco's smile wavered.
"How are you feeling, Draco?" Crabbe asked, pushing aside the crossword puzzle he'd been doing in ink.
"Heterosexual, thank you," Draco said quickly.
Goyle blinked. "What?"
"Exceptional," Draco said. "I'm feeling exceptional."
Crabbe wrinkled up his forehead. "'Gender in a part of Essex, three letters?'"
"Sex, of course," said Goyle. "Really, Crabbe."
Draco toyed irritably with his fork. "Some goons you two are," he muttered. "Can't you remember to act stupid? For me?"
"Oh, right," said Crabbe contritely. He balled up the crossword parchment and ate it. "Better?"
"Dumbledore told me something really strange when he was threatening me with expulsion," Draco said. "It came as quite a shock to me."
"Hagrid and Snape are very much in love," Harry said quickly. "Don't be judgmental."
Draco blinked. "Okay, number one, yuck. And number two, that's not what he said."
Okay, I'll stop now. Really...